To sum it all up. PART 1

I am the typical teenage girl. My rooms a mess,I have a collage on my wall of everything imaginable, etc. But what makes me different from the rest is a whole other story. So sit down grab some tea or some shit-and enjoy judging me.

I’m 16 and I already have my whole entire life planned out. I’m not gonna have unprotected sex, or abuse drugs. My life has meaning to me & I rather not risk it. No I am not a good,I’ve had sex,a pregnancy scare,I put myself in multiple situations when I basically drove myself to the edge of suicide,I have terrible scars on my stomach & left arm,There are nights when I steal a cigarette from one of my parent’s packs & go and scrap up a lighter and hide in the bathroom because when I’m at the breaking point or just need “Me” time,that’s what I do.

I express my thoughts mostly through journals/writing blogs. (like this one.) No matter if it’s about love,life,or my passions. Usually no body bothers with me because I’m quiet and don’t talk much..but on the inside-I’m screaming to be heard & discovered. Cause to be honest this past year has been definably a year to remember. I made decisions teens wouldn’t at my age. Like the colleges I want to go in or what I want for my dream career. But that’s just me.

When it comes to love..I take it very seriously,friend or not. When I’m in love you’d know it right off the bat. There’s a different side of love I never wanna return to. And what I mean is that basically getting screwed over…like it’s gotten to the point even when my guy friend says “I love you too man” I don’t have the slightest bit of hope that he legit means it. Because in past experiences that was the true reason why I got screwed over. And it hurts cause when I say it..I mean it,and that’s what always get me to heart break.

What also sets me from the rest of the girls is that I like that old soul. I love 80’s rock & the whole era. My grandmother brags to everyone about how different I am and how I was born in the wrong era. My father always calls me his flower child because I’m into the whole “Peace & love” shit (but not because of what it symbolizes today as a fashion statement,but as it did for wars way back in the day). People at school always label me as “DIFFERENT” or “UNIQUE” and ever since people come up to me and tell me this,it stuck ever since. That god put me on this earth to make a difference & that’s what I’m gonna do.

Speaking of the big guy up stairs,I am a god loving person. Like not god loving that I don’t swear & crosses are hung up above every doorway but god loving as in spirit. Like if it weren’t for him,I’d have no belief in hope whatsoever. All of my friends like aren’t believers & I have no problem with that,but I have my reasons why I’m attached.

So that ends it for now,if you wanna know more please don’t be afraid to ask. I don’t bite,just shy,that’s all.