Fadefade fading

I'm sitting here on my bed in the dark.
I like the darkness.
I don't have to be bothered to see.
And I don't want to see.
I've lost my will to do anything.
I don't want to read.
write.
listen.
speak.
eat.
wake up.
I don't want to.
I want to sit here in the dark.
quiet.
and once I stop fucking crying,
I want to feel the laxatives kick in and give me pain.
I'm in the lovely dark
darkness
darkness
darkness
darkness
consume me
I just want to be fucking 96 pounds again. I want to know I'm fading. I want to know it, feel it. the emptiness.