I'm Trying So Hard.

I feel like shit almost constantly. My mom, I love her but I just can't do it.
I can't do this. This distraction isn't working.
It's just not working.
I'm not working.
Meth works.
Razors work.
Smoking works.
Razors work.
Snorting works.
Razors work.
Pills work.
Razors work.
For a while. Then I'm back. Sometimes, when it's been forever (& not withdrawals I'm talking about), I feel shittier and cutcutcut. I don't like this.
But I can't help it.
The drugs, they give me hope. They let me smile & think, "I don't need that blade. I can get more." Drugs do help.
I don't care what you say.
Fuck you & your " I do understands". Just fuck off.