thinking bout the past yet again

I hav often think bout my past @ my 2nd school which a boarding school 2 kids who got speak problems. So I had 2 go there 2 help me with my bad dyslexia. I hated the school so much it is when my bad mind gains had started in was only 11 yrs old n my mum told me hers started when she was 25. Mind gains r headaches but much more awful.

At this school there were 2 kind of kids so the cool kids n the not so cool kids. The cool kids r the 1s who problems r not so bad n the not so cool kids got very bad problems. 4 me I am the not so cool kids n I did stand out a lot this is cos I got my dad’s brow so I don’t hav brows no it’s a brow a thick black bold line over my eyes. It don’t help I got hairy arms, arm pit and legs. It was a shame I didn’t come by waxing yet. I was very skinning 2 so ppl would think me ugly n look like a boy.

Life was so easy at my primary I didn’t worry the way I look cos the kids were so nice n I was a tomboy so I was 1 of the boys 2 the primary school but @ this 2nd school I felt like a freak. Life was bare able in my 1st 4 yrs cos I had my best friend with me but she was a yr above me so I was on my own n I was so lonely I had no 1 2 b with. Its funny I wasn’t shy @ all but when I went 2 this school I came very shy cos I felt like freak.

Thing never got better 4 me @ school cos I didn’t hav much friends n teachers did not like me cos I kept on messy up all the time. It felt the more I try the more I mess up but I should of taken the hint n give but the thing is I was never gd @ giving up I keep on trying that’s is my weakness I keep on going when I should hav drop it but I can’t I most keep on going.

That’s when I started to self harm myself cos the aloneness was killing me.