Finally Letting Go :)

I’m starting a new chapter in life, one he’s not a part of. I’ve finally realized that it’s time I move on. I don’t want to, but I need to more than anything else. I may regret it, but at this time, that’s fine. Staying is hurting me more than he’ll ever understand. Moving on is going to be one of the hardest things I’ll ever have to do, but it has to be done. From now on, I’m not waiting around for him. I’m going to live my life, with or without him. I’m not begging for him to stay anymore. I’m done crying, I’m drying the tears from my face, I’m holding my heart close.

He’s leaving me anyway, going away to be with another girl. Yes, that fact kills me, but I’m going to keep my chin up, because I’m not letting him break me down any longer. Yes, I will always love him, but I have to move on. He doesn’t care, maybe he never did. I don’t know. I have nothing to hold onto anymore though. One of these days, I’ll find someone new, and I’ll be happy. Nothing I did was good enough, not the fact that I cared, or even the fact that I loved him unconditionally. Life goes on, and time passes by, but I promise, I’ll always remember him.

Every memory still plays through in my brain, and it stings like a bitch to think about it, because he thinks I’m worthless. For three years, we were together, off and on, but no matter what, I always loved him. I will continue to love him, but I will move on and find someone else. The memories haunt me now, the way me kissed me, the way he held me, how he’d look in my eyes and say “I love you”, everything. It’s in the past now. And even though I miss him, and I would die to go back and be his again, I know I can’t. It’d still end this way.

He’s no longer worth my pain and tears. For a long time, I’ve been telling people he is, and that they just don’t understand. The reality is though, that they were right, because I don’t deserve to hear that I’m worthless, when I’m not. I’m better than believing that. I can move on, and still love him. I’ll never forget him, but I’ve found the strength to let go. I’m still broken, and I may be for a while, but that doesn’t mean I’m crying. Just because I’m not alright yet, doesn’t mean I can’t find happiness in my friends love. Maybe he'll enter into my life story again soon. I miss him but life has to go on.

So from now on, I’ll stick with my friends. I’ll try to forget the pain, but I’ll never forget him. My friends will help me though; they’re the best people I know. I’m so thankful to have them. Despite the fact that sometimes we may fight, and I may not want to talk, that doesn’t mean I don’t love them. I do, more than they’ll realize. So, trust me when I say, I don’t need him anymore. I’ll never come back, I promise.