9/11

I feel like I'm seeing all these pictures and videos for the first time.

This happened when I was in second grade and even a second grader, I understood
that this was a sad and terrible day for our country. But that was before we
lost our friends Gavin, Matt, Maurice and Christian, and that was before I knew what kind of
true love you could feel for a person and what kind of loss you could
experience when that person left.

As second, third, fourth, fifth, all the way up to eighth or ninth graders-
maybe even higher for those of you- it was almost impossible for us to absorb
this stirring event.
We would have sympathy as we grew up and the anniversaries passed us by, but for
many of us, they were just dates on a calendar and echoes of the past on the
news-the echoes of those who faced the perrils of 9/11.

Now, I am seventeen years old.
Now I feel those echoes inside of me, speaking to me.
Now, it's a much different feeling than ever before when I see what happened on
this day ten years ago.
For the first time, I feel like I get it. Instead of just crying when I see my
teacher or my mother cry, I cry because it pains me to see this much more than
it ever did before.
It's like I can connect to any and every American and as cool as that is, I hate
that I can because of what we suffered.
Those of you who are under my age, you could very well be feeling what I am
feeling. But I know many kids under my age do not understand and cannot
understand and might be frustrated that they don't understand this date in our
history.

You might think you understand at such a young age because you don't know that
later down the road you'll experience love and loss and you'll begin to feel
everything deeper.
It's okay that you don't feel what I feel- it's not your fault at all.
Because ten years ago, what I felt was sympathy.
Now I feel empathy- very strong empathy.
Now I feel the hate and anger people felt toward the terrorists that twisted
knife that changed our lives.
Now I want to hear all the tragic stories of this day so that they can stay
embedded in my memories.

As much as it pains me to remember, I don't want to let this go.
Now I know why this is the day America will never forget.