09/11,12/2011

Get me out. Get me out. Somebody get me out.

She tells my sister, "Find a way to look better when you're angry."
They say they understand, while they slit her dreams.
They act like they understand when she can't talk, she so angry.

Oh, get me out. Get me out.

They ask me, "So why are you crying?"
Because YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
You act like you've never been there before.
What, you CAN'T UNDERSTAND?
You don't GET IT when I want to run alone.
You can't FATHOM why I would want to do something different from what you told me.
YOU TELL ME TO DO WHAT I'M ALREADY LIVING.

PLEASE. Get me out.

Please, I'm almost there. I'm almost out. Don't lock me back up. I love you, I really do.
Don't go out the back door, back up on the untouchable pedestal.
UNDERSTAND ME.
I'm still yours, I'm still me. Why don't you look at me, dad?
Mom, I love you, you KNOW that. Why are you trying to push me back IN, under the pretense of GETTING ME OUT?!??!
What the (in the words of my father) FREAKING FRACK are you doing? I don't get it. I REALLY DON'T GET IT. Not because I can't look 'past myself'. I'M TRYING TO HELP HER, I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU.

Somebody, get me out.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Sooo... this is my freakin' motivation to graduate, to go to college. Had a nice Family Night, tonight.

This is why I'm going to be AMAZING at volleyball this year. This is why I'm studying to ace the tests. Because, when I smile for the camera, it's a MASQUERADE. Because I'm going to live my life for them, for now.

Because under God, I'm submitting to them.

But when I get out...

Well, I'm OUT.