I'm filled with sadness. Does it ever go away when it's this deep? Because we've talked about the situation and it's better off this way; by breaking up. Reality won again. We're 18 hours away, and we'll only see each other at Christmas, and maybe Thanks Giving. I'm not exaggerating when I say this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do... which is saying goodbye to you, for the second time... this time it was just bad timing. I can't help but feel so empty, and hollow... but as I look back on the summer months I smile because no one else in the world will have our memories, but I cry because they were cut short. Distance is our worst enemy here, because I'm sure if you were hours closer this wouldn't have happened; but everything happens for a reason... is the reason that we just found each other again at the wrong time? Because I really think [and I know you feel the same] that if the situation was a little different this could actually have worked.
Our feelings for each other are so strong it's almost scary. I love you, and I know in my heart I always will. Who knows, maybe one day we will pick up where we left off; but right now we are too young to know. We're both trying to build our careers and life. I'm actually more sad that we couldn't do this.
But when you are miles apart from the one you would die for, not seeing them, and having all your faith dwindle away, you start to feel lonely and need someone to hold you just so you can remember what being loved felt like. You forget the feelings you get when you once looked into his deep loving, caring, kind, safe eyes. and once that happens.... who's to stop you from trying to fill the void?
I've been scared before, but not like this. I'm truly frightened that despite how much we care about each other; the feelings will fade to nothing. I'm scared I'll forget the summer, and forget how madly I fell in love with you all over again. I'm afraid of the future and what it will bring... and if you will even be in it.
I love you, and maybe this will bring us closer to that. As you said "Don't be a stranger this time."
I think our love might have a chance to grow, as I feel my feelings on top of my skin: loneliness, despair, denial, fear, and simply love.
As my boyfriend, I miss you already
As my lover, one day we will meet again
As my best friend, I love you forever
so don't forget me.
Love; it's not just a word if you mean it. and Love doesn't mean one thing. Love is a million little things that glue two people like you and I together, that build a bond so tight it hurts when you have to cut a piece off.
But I know I have to untie myself from your love just a little bit and move onward because life wont stop it's course over my feelings of sadness, and personal karma.
by far, this was the best summer of my life. Thank you Max
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