letters to mom: letter 4

dear mom,
i dont know if i can take this life anymore. i just feel so freakin crappy. all i can think about is death, and dying, and i'm sitting here crying. asking myself, do you even care about these letters that i write you. do you? sometimes i dont think you do. i dont know what hell i was thinking. thinking that you love me, you barely even knew me. and i while you get to sit there, up in heaven, happy as fxxxx while i'm in this pure fxxxxxx hell. i'm sorry mom, but i'm getting closer to the edge. i'm scared mom. i'm scared that i might actually kill myself. i'm angry, im sad im confused. i just dont think i have a reason to live anymore. i've been missing a bunch of days at school. because i had a fever and sxxx. i see, the way people stare at me. because i'm fxxxxxxx ugly and fat as hell. i wouldnt be surprised if you regret having me for a daughter. i just......i just......i dont know what to say anymore except.......goodbye. if i dont write you tomorrow night or the day after i'm either dead or back in the hospital.