Depressed because I'm in love?

Let me be speechless in your arms.
At this moment I don't know how much longer I can wait. The days are getting more and more confusing, but that's apart of life right? All these question keep me awake at night and they are all begging to be answered. I don't have the heart to ask anyone these question because what if the answers break me.

I love the way you look into my eyes and smile.
I just want to be beautiful. Is that to much to ask? Crying myself to sleep has brought me nothing but pure pain. I wonder if he ever wonders what I am doing on the other end of the phone, if he ever hears me cry. I just want to be beautiful. I'm trying to make that image in the mirror disappear, and hoping that it won't ever come back. All I want to be is beautiful.

You broke into my heart.
My eyes are glossy everyday, my heart breaks every hour, and my breathing fades away every minute. I thought that when you are in love you are suppose to be happy, but then why am I so depressed? Love is suppose to be the best thing that ever happens to someone, but why do I feel like its the end of me? I told him before that I loved him, but why is it so hard to say it now? That beating thing in my chest feels like a bomb, and its slowly ticking down. 3..2..1 poof, I have disappeared from the world without saying goodbye.