I never thought, not in a million years, that this would happen to anyone in my family. You always see people with cancer, and they have no hair, and they're tired and so...down. And you pray to God it never happens to you or anyone you love. Just the thought of knowing that there is something slowly killing my father...it's enough to f*cking make me want to die.
I have got to be strong for my Dad. My friends, family, and complete strangers are all being so supportive right now. The phone won't stop ringing with concerned neighbors and family members. And all I can think about through the I love you, I'm here for you, we may not talk much but I'll do whatever you need me to do's is God...what can you ask someone to do for you when it's not even you that has cancer? What could anyone do for me or my family besides pray right now?
It's just such a huge shock.
When I overheard Dad telling Grandma on the phone I ran to my room and tried to just...block it all out. I didn't want to hear it. The words "I have lung cancer," are not supposed to come out of anyone's mouth. And then I just started crying and Grandma came and I asked if Dad had lung cancer, and she said he did.
"This isn't supposed to happen to us! Stuff like this just doesn't HAPPEN to us."
That's all I could say. Over and over and over. And even through all of the amazing support that people have been giving and will continue to give, I just keep saying it, over and over.
Stuff like this shouldn't f*cking happen to anyone.
Especially not my Dad.
The test results are in, and my Dad was diagnosed with lung cancer.
October 13th, 2011 at 01:43am