19 Years old.
Suffering from Fredricks Disease, Cystic Fibrosis, Muscular Dystrophy, etc.
In cardiac Failure.
Lungs completely filled with fluid.
Heart shutting down.
This girl...
She tells me I'm her best friend.
She tells me she isn't afraid any more.
She tells me she's ready to go home.
She laughs.
She cries.
She smiles.
She's a smartass.
She's like my big sister.
I love her.
I help take care of her.
I watch her when she's in pain.
I feed her.
She's like my big sister.
We gang up on my best friend, John, Her brother.
We laugh.
I feel as if a piece of her is like she is my own.
She's a beautiful, amazing, incredible, young girl. My babygirl. My big sister. My best friend....And here I am..Losing her. It hurts, you know? In this short time she's helped me realize so much. Here she is, not able to walk/laying in bed all day, dreaming of what she could be doing..and here I am, able to everything she wishes, I'm wasting my life. She cherishes every moment that she can. Here I am..Just wishing for changes, when I can make them. She makes me want to better myself.
It amazes me...Through all of her pain..Her suffering...She still believes in God. She tells us we better straighten up, lol. She makes me want to believe.
I guess I'm just getting this off my mind...She's getting worse each day. Her brother and I are just waiting. We'll be by eachothers side, through it all. We know that she'll be watching us. Taking care of us. Letting us know that she loves us. We know she's going to be raising a bit of chaos up there.
I love you, Ashley.
You're my big sister always.
I'll miss you, baby.