You.

Why haven't I been able to get you off my mind? What is the reason? Last time I blamed it on sleeping pills, this time there's no pills and I still can't seem to get you off my mind. There's a reason it never worked out. Yea, you know how I felt, but still. I shouldn't have these feelings or thoughts. I shouldn't be up all night thinking about you. I shouldn't think "what if we tried again?". I should move on to somebody different. After all this time, it makes no sense. You've moved past me, I think at least. I don't know, maybe you haven't. It's appeared recently that maybe you haven't... I don't know. Maybe if I just tell you, or tell somebody else. I already kinda told her, probably not the best person to tell, but I was kinda hoping maybe she'd tell you. That way I don't have to. I'm not good at this stuff, you should know that from experience. But still, you're all I seem to think about any more. I try to get my mind on something else, somebody else. I just can't hide this anymore. I haven't felt this way before, even with you living elsewhere and that age difference, they are both very small. It's a 3 year age difference, and you only live a few hours away, so maybe it can work. Maybe I've gotten to used to being with somebody and have a fear of being alone? Maybe, and this is my idea because it seems to be true, I'm stupid. No clue, maybe it's just because we don't really talk anymore. You're the one that said those things about me, I know you didn't mean them. But that has nothing to do with this, aside from the idea that maybe I wan't affected by them and still like you. Yea. I "like you" that's the simple way. I know I don't just like you, but I won't say the other thing, because I've said it too much in the past. I do know it's true. Whatever. Ugh.