I'm Not There (Self pitying, be forewarned)

Most people really hate their families, I've noticed. I just wish I had one. Sure, they're there. But my aunt and cousin on my mom's side, I'm not allowed to talk to. On my dad's side, they won't talk to me. I'm only fourteen and I've basically been ostracized. For literally, no reason. Then on my stepdad's side, I have one cousin I'm allowed to talk to. She refuses to talk to me.Just because. I used to have an aunt but she died of cancer. Don't say sorry for this. She hated me because I was me. I hated her back. We had to live with her for a while (long story) and we lived there for a month and then she kicked us all out. A week and a half before Christmas. Yeah. love you too yo psychotic old bat. Before I get crucified for saying that, she hit me and everything. She would leave mean notes in my 9 by 7 foot room saying "You keep your space clean you little good for nothing street-rat" I am NOT a m*therf*ckin street-rat. I am so sick of hearing that I'm insane and a street-rat SO freaking much. (People think I'm one solely because of I've moved...14 times in seven years, and been to 11 different schools. That's it.) And so I kept my room clean, didn't talk much, washed dishes and looked after my brothers. But if I was lucky enough to spend the weekend at my friend's I came back to "YOU LAZY LITTLE WHORE" What'd my mom do? Nothing. You can read about her in my journal Stupid, Stupid Dream if you're interested. I know many of you aren't. Why would anyone be? Anyway, but I still miss the cousin that lived with my aunt. I look at who she considers family and I'm not there. I look at who my stepbrother considers family and I'm not. I'm not in any family photos of anyone and to my family it's like I don't exist. I'm family to no one except maybe one person who considers me their sister. I don't know why I want to even be a part of that. Family in the end just hurts you. That's what they're there for... xD