Percentage Of Actually Achieving Your Dream Job?...

Less than 200 percent.

Those that actually try to achieve said dreams? Most of the normal class of people.

I've always wanted to become a Singer or Actress, but all I am comfortable doing is doing nothing about it and thinking about it even less.

I know that I sound like a "Poor pitiful me" type with what I'm writing, but it was the only way I feel that I can get this out of my head and get myself that shorter away from crying my freakin' eyes out.

I remember when I was little putting my arm out the window of the passenger seat of the car and singing to "Wide Open Spaces" by the Dixie Chicks and thinking I could become them one day, but, as the years went by, it never happened.

Through all of the bullying I went through as a child and teen my confidence and self-esteem never had the time to build up or even think to build up.

The only thing I was confident in my life about was music, because music doesn't judge you like your peers words do. Music gives you a way to escape a reality that you never wanted or needed.

Music was, and still is, my best friend.

It doesn't tell me that I'm not pretty enough to be an Actress or a Singer, it doesn't tell me that I need to lose weight to get a boyfriend, it doesn't tell me that I need to be someone I'm not to make friends,...it tells me that I can escape.

It opens it's musically enthralling arms, pulls me in, and covers me so that no one can touch me or talk to me without me acknowledging them.

I watch the actors on the movies. They make the job look so easy and simple that they could pull it off with just a snap of their fingers.

They give you a movie that could make you scream for more or shout at it because the ending made you so angry.

I've always wanted to be like them. To make people scream over why the movie had to end so soon or why the movie had to end at a cliffhanger.

But, again, I have done nothing to make my dreams come true.

Might as well dream about, at least, getting my first job.

That'd be as good, and easier, of an achievement than getting into acting classes and vocal lessons will be.

Be fucking 40 before I could do anything remotely close to acting.

I wasn't able to get into Drama club when I was in school because they needed money to fund it so I wasn't going to do anything close to needing to put into something.

-shrugs- Maybe one day I'll try building my confidence, until then, I'll mask how low my self-esteem and confidence are like I have my whole life.