Senior year and stuff

So I guess to start, I should reminisce about my best friend a little bit, because we've been through a lot.

1. He was the only person I could bring myself to call after my mom and I had a huge fight on my birthday.
2. I've helped clean and bandage his cuts when he accidentally cut himself too deep, freaked out, and came over to my house for help.I think it qualifies as the hardest thing I've ever had to do, because it hurt so much to see how down on himself he was.
3. He has literally picked my dad and brother up off the side of the road when my dad's car got towed, no questions asked, even though he knows my dad teases me about him being my gay best friend.
4. Once, he showed up at my house crying because his dad is really scary when he get's angry and he ran away. All I could do was hold him.
5. He’s reached out to me time and time again when he’s felt like I was being emotionally retarded. He's usually right, and usually gets me to say all the right things.
6, This one time, I walked to the park in the dark to bring him cookies because he was upset about a boy. Stargazing ensued, and that shit is the stuff of young adult novels.
7. We’re honest with each other. And as a result, sometimes we hurt each other, but it’s okay because we usually know what the other needs to hear.
8. Maybe this isn’t the most concrete of examples, but I really feel like you can’t not be friends after taking care of someone while they barf up jello shots, and realizing that they’ve totally done the same thing for you.
9. And let’s face it, if you’ve cried drunkenly into someone’s chest to the tune of a Taylor Swift playlist, you’re bonded for life.

I really don’t want to end this list with underage drinking, but eh, I’m tired of finding examples. This isn’t even close to everything. There have been fights too, but I think even when we are at odds, we know that we’d both be there in a heart beat if one of us needed someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on.

And all of that is a the reason that senior year terrifies me. Because I’m scared. Not just of the possibility of losing touch, but the reality that I might become someone else’s best friend in college. I don’t want that. Even though I know there are awesome people that I haven’t even met yet waiting at whatever college I end up going to, they won’t be him, and they won’t be able to read me like he does. And yeah, I know, (grow the fuck up Kayley, you need to socialize) sometimes you have to talk to new people. But he’ll always be my best friend. And he’s so good at talking to other people that I’m afraid he won’t need me. I’d like to believe we’re so close that he’d still miss me when he’s busy making new friends in college. But I’m still frightened he won’t.