this moment

I wish I didn’t go to the store yesterday and I wish I never gave the impression that I liked him. Well that was just a summer thing. And besides I like Ryan and Dylan still. But I know nothing will ever come out of that. The worse thing about him at the store, he’s my cousin. I would never do anything like that. NEVER!. I guess he doesn’t get that. I’m not going to accept him on facebook. I don’t need a creep checking what I do all the time. It’s just not what I want. It happened once and now I just want to live a normal life what ever that might be. I do this just so I can vent and get rid of these thoughts in my head. Now I am wondering if I do like Damian. Just over that stupid dream I had last night. It wasn’t scary or weird. Well it was a little weird. I don’t know why the hell I was mad in my dream but he mad it better, he made me feel happy. I don’t know what it was but I was happy. I liked his company too. I think might even more than I wouldn’t mind Ryan or Dylan’s company. I have no clue what to think anymore. Well at this moment.
I'm not much of a people person right now. i just want to close myself in and forget about this whole place. but no i can't of coarse i can't. I'm right in the middle of it all. I just want to leave this place already. That can't happen until I finish what I'm trying to do. I wonder if these things and that dream have some kind of point to it. i wish I understood the point right away, and not like a few days or months later. well I'm done for now