I'm going to post an excerpt from a story I'm writing...

... and ask you guys for your opinion on it. Okay? GO.

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Jack lay prone on the ground, bleeding slowly from a stab wound. He knew he was dying, and there was no way to stop it. He turned his head weakly, trying to force himself to focus on the figures that seemed so far away, but were only on the other side of the Hub. He rolled onto his side, struggling toward them, when the one closest to him turned around.

"Well, it seems our dear Captain isn't dead yet," the man said in a pleasantly playful voice. "It seems I have a decision to make." He made a face that mocked one of a person thinking deeply about something before making a decision he'd probably already made. In two strides, he had reached Jack and kicked him across the chest, sending him sliding backwards. Jack groaned, his eyes fluttering closed, before he forced them open at a scream.

"No!" he tried to yell, but his strength was fading rapidly as the man grabbed Ianto and dragged him away.

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I'll take any kind of criticism on this. I'd really appreciate some feedback, please and thank you! :)