January 16, 2012

Well, since I no longer have any friends, I thought that I should start a journal.
My life is a mess. The beginning of the school year was perfect. I had friends. I went out on the weekends. People liked talking to me. Then, Josh came back into my life. Josh and I had been friends for a while, but he started acting crazy so i kinda let things go. Then, he started talking to me again. He was on new medication and he was doing really well, so I decided to let him back into my life. What a huge mistake that was.
In the beginning, my friends were okay with him. The nastier his humor became, the more they hated him. One night, I invited him to hang out with me and my friends. Well, my other friends were flipping out and saying " If he is going then I am not!" and I told them to be little bitches and to stay behind. That was the last time any of my friends talked to me. Soon, I was only hanging out with my two friends Josh and Brittany. Whatever they did, I did. I wouldn't even look at my old friends. Soon, Josh and Brittany were secretly dating, ditching me on my birthday to hang out with each other.
Pretty soon, I would come home nearly everyday in tears.I had a stupid crush on Josh and I began to hate Brittany. I distanced myself from Josh and Brittany and tried to go back to my other friends. They wouldn't accept me. They refused. No matter how much I apologized, they didn't care.
Now, only two people will talk to me, but they refuse to hang out with me outside of school. I lost all my friends over a boy who didn't even care about me. It was all my fault and I am so terribly sorry, but nobody cares.
Now, I am just the freak girl who sits by herself and doesn't have anyone who she can really talk to. I am by no means asking anyone to feel sorry for me. I am asking that you never, ever ruin good friendships over boys who don't care about you. Trust me, it's not worth it in the end, especially when you are isolated by everyone you used to be close to.