i'm afraid of.....

i have always wondered what it would be like to find someone true, and have it not done half fast. i mean, all i've dealt with were a-holes who's egos were too be to stay in a committed relationship, or the hoes who don't know how to count. but to actually be in a true relationship scares me because i'm not worried about him messing it up, i'm worried about me being afraid to be hurt mess this up. i still think everyday this could be our last together. i treasure each day as if it was our last together. sometimes that gets in the way. in the way of truly being carefree in a relationship. i'm always afraid that something will go wrong. i guess i just need to chill.