It's gonna burn in hell, I know it. There's no way one person could feel this horribly detached from everyone she loves. Slice my wrists, stab my heart, it wouldn't compare to this pain. Just...it's too difficult to even explain, I'm writing this because I don't know what I think anymore. I guess I'm trying to get my thoughts out on pseudopaper. If you don't feel like reading this, I don't blame you. I don't feel like feeling it. But. Here. We. Are.
Oh, congrats if the title caught your interest. That means you either know German or listen to Rammstein.
So, I know I have issues on whether or not I bug people. Or annoy them. Or whatever. I guess... I don't want to impose myself upon anyone. I get told otherwise all the time, but with all the whining I do about random stuff I wouldn't doubt that some people just want to get away from me. Example: IMing a certain person and not getting significant IMs back. One word, if anything. Words aren't wasted around him, that's for sure. *sigh* Moving on...I need to stop thinking about him.
So, back to my thing I'm trying to sort out. Why do I feel so detached? I do have a relationship with people that focuses mostly on seeing them, hugging, slapping, etc. So, that could be it. I haven't seen people in ages. This is most likely it-and it's happened before. I should feel fine by Sunday. But that doesn't solve it right now.
Though having people talking to me is helping. So I guess I'm just lonely.
Congratulations if you read my rambling. Give yourself a cookie.
Your Humble Servant,
Bella.
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