This is the start?

I feel broken, you know? What is a broken person? Literally, there's no such thing as a broken person, of course there's always the laws of physics. Every single human being is built of atoms, therefore we are basically tiny bits and pieces staying together via the force of attraction between the electrons, so essentially, we are all broken people being held together by laws of physics. Science has time and time again proven that everything is relative. Unless you can touch, see, smell, hear or taste it, it doesn't exist. It's not real. Unless you can prove its existence it is simply not real.

If everything is black and white, what happens to the things that simply doesn't have an explanation? It's there, you just can't explain it. You can feel it, not with your hands, not with your senses but with your emotions. You feel the presence and belief of it but you can't prove it, all you can do is believe in it and hope for someone else to understand. Hope for someones understanding of your universe, without judgement. That's where physics fail us. When it comes to emotions, there's no such thing as black and white, no such thing as wrong or right, there's only maybe. There's a grayzone. There's no certainty when it comes to feelings and there's no safe place. So what are you gonna do? Follow logic and the laws of physics? Depend on your senses and your brain?

Logic tells us to go for the safe thing, the thing that is certain, the thing you can depend on to give safe results. Happy or not, you have a sense of security, people will most certainly applaud you for making the right choice, the logical choice. At least in the eyes of society but what about you? If you depend on your emotions, you're not going to be certain about the outcome, it won't be certain. You can't be sure it's the safe way, all you can be certain about is the fact that you're making the right choice for you. In the end emotions are a big part of who we are. If we make the safe choice, we can stay unhappy for the rest of our lives, but we'll be secured. You'll live and die without leaving your footprint in the world because you simply didn't care, you were to unhappy to do your best, so you remained average and did what was expected of you. Doing what makes you happy will result in you leaving a footprint in the world because you gave it all you had. Death will just be a well deserved rest. You won't die unhappy thinking back, regretting every single choice you made. You have one life and you won't make it out alive. That's a promise.

You were born to die, that's a fact. In order to beat life at its own game you have to start living. You have to start doing something and you will be immortal. You will live forever, even after you're dead, you will still be alive.

There's the people that don't care and just go with the flow and that's it. Then there's the few people that go out and make a difference with their own life. Refusing to wait for death, taking full advantage of the life that was given and when returned it won't be in vain.
I'm not one of those people. I don't know how to be. I'm too scared to break the rules and make my own. I'm too scared to build a new path. I'm crumbling and falling apart at the seams yet I'm too scared to do something about it. I just want out so I can start living the life I was supposed to start years ago, I was supposed to build this path ages ago and I have yet to start. I want to but I can't seem to find the will to do so. That's what hinders me in life, that's what prohibits me from taking full advantage. That's what's wrong with me...

I like the feeling of being anonymous.