I think my mom knows I'm gay. | To insure a few journal views; SEXY MEN.

Well, first off; it's pretty darn obvious. I'm constantly singing Ke$ha songs, begging to go shopping, and I'm quite catty when talking about others. Besides that, I told her I was bi in July to sort of introduce her to the fact that I like guys. Well, if you read my last journal, you'd know that my ex boyfriend (we were polyamorous, so when he left, me and Charlie stayed together) went and messaged my mom on Facebook on Friday night and told her all the things I've done with boys and the fact that I'm suicidal.

Few problems with this suicidal thing; my mom already knows I'm depressed. I was before I got shot and it progressed after I got shot. Plus, when my eating disorder started showing, things got worse. So, her seeing me trying to kill myself would have undoubtedly put me in the psych ward.

But, on Saturday, I know she checked her Facebook. She had to have seen the message- but she didn't come talk to me about it, so that can only mean one of a few things. Scenario Uno: Jake never messaged my mom. This is HIGHLY likely because he's a pathological liar. I wish I was saying this to be rude, but it's the truth. He tried telling me that he was adopted once and I know he isn't. He also tried to convince me that the police traced his computer and tried to arrest him for jerking off on a webcam with me. Dude, they would have came after us both, and if they did try and arrest you, they would have succeeded.

Scenario Dos: My mother is so deeply ashamed of me and doesn't wanna think about it right now and is waiting for the perfect opportunity to talk to me about it.

Scenario Tres: She read it and actually has come to terms with it -or is struggling too- and is waiting for me to come out when I'm ready. See, this is believable because me and Charlie had a date and we hung out his friend's house. Their parents both work with my mom (they promised not to say anything about me and him) but my mom asked about him and when they told her how much of a good kid he is, she said, "That's exactly what I want to hear."

Could it be that she knows and is trying to see if this boy is right for me? If so, I have never loved her more. Even if she does know or suspects it greatly, I'm still going to wait to come out. I'm still not ready. But this is still pretty great<3

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As promised, here is your reward for listening to my problems:
His name is Vladimir Ivanov
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And, as you expected, more of my baby, Mr. River Viiperi

THOSE SHORTS. UNF.



^My baby looks so intelligent<3



River has been my favorite model for months now. We will get married.
Like, legit. I will marry his fine, sexy little butt<3