Hope for the Hopeless.

     It's obvious I need to get over my teacher because, well, he's a teacher. And I'm a student and we're no good for each other. So why do these feelings seem so right? (Ha, cheesy.) It's just that I really, truly can't get the man out of my head. At all. It's actually kind've sad. I mean, what will I do all March Break when I can't see him? Well...hopefully I can use that time to work on getting over him, the perfect son of a moose he is. I just wish he would stop doing all these charming things. It isn't very fair. An impressionable young girl like myself doesn't stand a chance. I wonder if he knows that. I wonder if he knows about, well, me. But I don't think I'll mind if he finds out.

    I performed for one of the Pope's cardinals at church today with my choir. So yeah, that was pretty big. But the whole time all I did was try and steal glances at my teacher from the balcony. Why is it I can spend weeks thinking about someone who doesn't love me or know I exist, yet I can't spend one hour thinking about Jesus?

     At one point he turned around and looked up at us, but my friend was pretty sure he was just looking at the children's choir beside us. And then he sat on our choir's bus instead of the one he came in with his class on the way back to school. And I really don't know why since he doesn't really have anything to do with choir. But he looked back in my general direction a few times. And this is all probably just in my head, but it was like he was watching me as I walked off, like to see if I would go all doe-eyed at him again or something. I'm most likely thinking all this up with my overactive imagination, but still. A girl can hope, can't she?

     I'm happy to finally be going to his class tomorrow for the first time since Monday. Well, actually I was there Tuesday. But he wasn't. And these last two days I had choir. It'll be good to see him one last time before the Break.

     I'm actually really grateful for choir, though. It keeps my mind off him somewhat. At least, it keeps me busy. And my choir instructor selected me for Honour Choir! I feel so proud (which doesn't happen all too often). And my friend said that our school's jazz band needs a pianist for next year, so that's me! Things like this bring so much happiness to my life, especially when it seems like there's no reason to be here anymore.