So I have posted two stories that I hope to get some feedback on, because I know they're complete different from some stories on this site. These stories are both about love, but on a whole different scale. You know that love can make you do some crazy things, right? Well, that's how these two stories are basically demonstrating.
I will give you a sample of the first chapters of each stories now.
Insanity
Chapter 1 - Once King of Roses, Now Lord of Gold
An ear piercing screams fills the empty corridors of lone Lord Alexander Bladewell's Palace. Every night he thrashes around, getting no sleep as his loneliness creeps up on him. His butler, Sebastian, rushes to his aid with a warm cloth, dipped in water; alongside other servants of the Palace of Bladwell. Voices of worry filled the distant room as the servants and Sebastian tried to calm Lord Alexander down, but for some reason tonight is far worse than any other night’s servants have witnessed. Lord Alexander pushed his butler away from his shoulders as he forced his way out of his bed.
“Move!” Lord Alexander shouted, “All of you, move out of my way or I will kill you!”
Silence fell upon the servants in the house. Gasp of shock and horror echoed in the room as Lord Alexander's eyes were filled with red anger and sorrow. Sebastian took a few steps towards his Lord, but to only get smacked back down. Lord Alexander doesn't want any of his servants near him. Deep down he doesn't want to hurt to any of them as he goes through his tortuous endeavor. Something inside of him, which is coiled, wants to be released. A monster that has been growing within Lord Alexander as the loneliness haunted engulfed his heart entirely. Tonight is the night though, it has to come out. Without any warning Lord Alexander grabbed the servant who was standing closest to him, and wrapped his large hands around her thin neck. It didn't take long for her last breath to be drawn, as her limp body fell to the ground. Screams of terror filled the corridor as hurried feet rushed out of the room.
“Sebastian!” Lord Alexander called out harshly, “If you wish to stay alive, I suggested you stay within these walls. I am afraid I have lost myself in such a bad state.”
His butler just nodded and sighed as his master dashed out of the room. Sebastian's eyes shut tightly as his body tensed; listening to the cries and screams of the fellow servants who had only served Lord Alexander for two years. Sebastian knew about his master's madness, and has kept it a secret from everyone that enters this Palace. No one shall know about this or else the kingdom itself will fall. As Lord Alexander went throughout the Palace in his monstrous state, Sebastian knew that he cannot do anything to stop his master's actions, since he knows on some nights such as this; Lord Alexander will go into a killing frenzy.
Only about a few hours later, Lord Alexander comes sauntering back into his room; covered slightly in blood as he fixed his garments. He causally walked over to his butler and asked him rudely to fetch him new clothes to put on. Sebastian only bowed his head and walked over to the closet and pulled out a pair of black dress pants, a white button down shirt and dress shoes. Lord Alexander wears nothing, but fancy clothes, for he represents his kingdom despite his madness that eats away at him. Sebastian sighed when he took his master's defiled clothes off his body and tossed them on the floor. Later he would have to pick them up and burn them, along with the bodies of those his master had killed. It has become such a chore for him, but it does not faze him in the least bit; he is used to it after many years of serving his master. He remembers the first time he had ever laid eyes on his when his master was in such a horrid state. The butler remembers feeling terrified as he hid away in a separate room, hearing the voices of those falling before his master. Lord Alexander did not kill him of course, but he made him promise to keep this a secret and Sebastian has been loyal to him ever since.
Journey into Darkness
Chapter 1 - The Forest of Wandering Souls
The sound of dead leaves being crushed under the man’s feet, the swift sounds of cool, crisp wind and the chatter of the wildlife were the only sounds the man heard. To him, it was peaceful, but as you look around that is not what this forest is. It is a dead forest that lets wandering souls walk, for they have no final resting place. The poor souls lingering on in this world are just begging to be saved and put down to rest in peace, because if that does not happen they will burn away painfully when the sun rises in the sky every five hours. The man takes a deep breath as he runs a hand through his dark brown locks, almost giving up on this search. What was he searching for? He did not know he only followed the voice that came to him that one fateful day on the island of the decayed. Sitting down on the icy rock the man got lost in his deep thoughts. He was remembering the times he had spent with his beloved. Walking along the coastline of the abandoned island, laughing, smiling, talking about absolutely nothing; it was perfect for the two of them, but suddenly it all came crashing down. His love fell ill to an unknown sickness and without the right resources she perished before his eyes. He sighed once more as he tried to rid himself of such depressing thoughts, as he waited for the voice to come back to clutter his mind.
“Where are you?” the man whimpered out, “The voice that came to me. Why are you not speaking once more?”
“I was merely waiting for you to finally reach the designated place.” the voice sounded suddenly, making the poor man jump, “I want you to keep walking up the hill, to the top of the forest of wandering souls. There your journey of finding your beloved will begin.”
With nothing but a sigh, the man gets to his feet and continues his walk up the large hill. When he finally reached the top, the man was now on top of a cliff. He peered over and witnessed souls flying in and out of this dark abyss. A sign was placed casually to his left and he walked over to it. It read “Abandon All Hope, You Who Enter Here” The man stared at the sign in disbelief and hoped that the voice did not steer him wrong.
“What is with this warning, voice? Answer me!” the man demanded.
“Do not be so angry, I am not your enemy,” the voice whispered gently,“I am only here to guide you through the ordeals that lie ahead.”
The man took a deep breath, “Tell me what I must do.”
The voice laughed softly, “Jump off the cliff and enter Limbo. Fall into darkness is the first step you must take.”
Another breath was being taken as the man walked towards the edge of what seems like the world. He looks down into the dark abyss, hearing the painful cries of the souls. Closing his green irises the man falls off the cliff and plunges into the everlasting darkness. The sound of the air that wisped passed his ears and the compelling excitement the coiled deep inside the man was why he took the leap of faith into this abyss. He knew not of what was in store for him whenever he finally reached the bottom, if he ever did. The man opened his eyes to see the souls of the forest float around him, staring at him as he fell like a rock into darkness. The eyes of the souls are sad, filled with sorrowful remembrance of times when they once were alive.
These again are just samples of the first chapters, I hope to get some feedback c: thank you for your time.
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