Big ***ing relief.

I have to say that this past summer has been damn good but also really confusing time for me.
I found a really good person during the spring, or you could say we found ourselfs again and during this summer we became really good friends.

I also realised something.
It just hit me when I was walking with my dogs.
I’ve been trying to be something else that I’m not during this couple last years and I just realised that I’m not happy. I’m far from happy.
I’ve been acting this weird role in everywhere and It’s just not me.
I guess the popularity thing catch me when I came to this point. I was trying to be something else and fit to the group.
Which is damn ridicilous. I’ve been always an outsider, the loner kid who got her own things. And now I’ve been trying to fade it away and be those popular kids.

It was kinda big relief to realize that I’m going to be way more happier when I stop the fucking acting and start to be me.
I know that many people doesn’t like it, they’re gonna hate it, but that’s their lost.

I’m proud to be me.
With all my weird habits, talking ways, out-look, sexuality.
I don’t need their or yours accepting for it coz I know that won’t make me happy. After all I’m the person that I have to live with rest of my life, not with you or anybody of them.
I know that I’m still not gonna like much about the face that looks back from the mirror, but I know I can watch that person straight to the eyes and be fucking honest, proud, happy about it.

You may not understand this but that’s okay. I just hope that someday you realize this stuff too and make yourself happy. And if you have realized it already, highfive dude! x]