I realized not to have suicidal thoughts.

I felt horrible the other day, VERY.

But then, I thought about the Kerrang! article on Aiden and a quote from Gerard Way [I don't care what you think about the fact I think about what he said then a lot. I seriously don't.] and just knew I had to become a better person.

I still do feel like it would be better off without me, but I realize that people would be upset even if I feel like nothing. But I've not been with this for long, so the feelings not all faded. But it's fading more.

I cut 1 time. It was my first time, but l knew it'd be my last. I did regret it - I still do - and it was in school. Because it was one cut I said I'd caught my arm on a bush walking to school (even if I got a lift). I got away with it. I do think it's stupid, I always have. But, you could be having a bad day or something.

But what they said, it's helped me. And I honestly can't wait till 'Conviction' by Aiden comes out. I really wanna know what it sounds like :]

So I'm off with the suicide crap, I'm going to try and become a better person - and even try to stop with the bitching. Just because you like heavy metal, punk, alternative and stuff, doesn't mean you have to be an all black thing. You can like all that music without the darkness. But if you want the darkness, go for it. But if you don't want to be classed in with all the people who are all in black and darkness, then try something different. You'll still be you, even if you change a bit. <3