If It's Not a Relationship, Then What Is It?

Uh, okay.

So, I'm dating this guy. He's a Brother of Kappa Kappa Psi from my chapter and he just graduated, he's 23, and I've never even been attracted to someone like him before.

But is it that I'm attracted to him? I'm struggling with this and this is why we're dating, not "in a relationship," I don't want to be his girlfriend until I am absolutely sure I like him. A lot.

It's confusing as heck. He likes me a lot. A LOT. But he's being mature about it and not pressuring me to be in a relationship until I'm ready, which is quite relieving. But I'm the one that's holding back because I don't even know if I truly like him!

Okay, he makes me laugh a ton, we have a ton of fun when we're together, he's a great musician and teacher, he's really thoughtful and sweet, and he knows how it feels to be cheated on (like me), but he is also not a virgin, he drinks to get drunk (which I don't agree with at all), he has a reputation..., and the age difference. I know I can't force him to stop drinking, but I will not hang out with him when he's drunk. That's just a no.

I'm just in such a funk... I've always have a black and white answer for these things (yes I like him, no I don't like him, etc.), but I currently feel like I'm in the grey here with this one...

UGH. It's just annoying and I don't want to lead him on if it comes to the point of saying no. I could really use some advice if you have any.