I... What.

I haven't used this site in awhile. I was pretty popular on here a couple years ago, but I doubt anybody remembers me. So I'm going to vent, because something really f*cking confusing/upsetting happened to me yesterday. It starts off sounding really typical, but holy sh*t this is... not typical.

Alright, so, for the past few weeks I've had a crush on one of my friends, I'll call her Q. She loves music as much as I do, especially Justin Bieber, and while I'm not a fan, I enjoy when other people are enthusiastic about music like I am.

After meeting on Tumblr, we became really close. Like, best friends. It's rare that I tell anybody about my indefinitely f*cked psychological state, but I felt completely comfortable talking to her about it. Turns out she has some issues of her own. Apparently her mother thinks she's delusional, but she didn't really elaborate much on that besides ranting to me about her family troubles. She eventually gave me a link to her private Tumblr, and I assumed this meant she trusted me as much as I trusted her.

She uses it to vent, and she always talks about her boyfriend/a guy she has a crush on (basically somebody she has romantic feelings for; there wasn't a way to tell if she was in a relationship with the guy or if she just liked him) She referred to him as J. This was pretty much when I figured out it was me, because my name is Jeremiah. My hopes skyrocketed, and I sort of decided to vaguely tell her I like her.

I... have literally no idea how to explain this. I'll just post a Skype conversation I had with her. I'm Jeremy, she's Queenie Kitty.

I'm not going to censor this because I curse way too much to bother going through and doing that.

Jeremy: HEY
Queenie Kitty: so maYBE YOU SHOULD READ MY PRIVATE BLOG BEFORE YOU GO TO SLEEP AT 4 AM
Jeremy: OK!!
Queenie Kitty: juST SAYING BECAUSE I LOSE INTERNET AT 10
Queenie Kitty: :D
Jeremy: LINK??
Queenie Kitty: OH RIGHT
Queenie Kitty: http://dearboyfran.tumblr.com pw is nope78
Jeremy: IM GENUINELY CURIOUS BECAUSE I HAVENT LOOKED AT ANY OF THIS YET BUT WHAT EXACLTY IS THE POINT OF ME READING THIS BECAUSE IM NOT SURE WHAT IM SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING OUT OF POSTS DEDICATED TO YOUR BOYFRIEND
Jeremy: DONT IGNORE ME IM GETTING ANXIOUS
Jeremy: IM SO FRUSTRATED
Jeremy: RESPOND TO ME
Jeremy: IM LONELY
Jeremy: AND I LIKE YOU SO THIS BOTHERS ME
Queenie Kitty: ahahahaha
Jeremy: WHY LAUGH
Jeremy: IM
Jeremy: why the laughter
Queenie Kitty: you don't understand
Jeremy: what am i missing
Jeremy: im missing something
Queenie Kitty: yes you are
Jeremy: yeah
Queenie Kitty: i have this condition where i'm kind of crazy
Queenie Kitty: so you probably shouldn't like me
Jeremy: ones mental stability doesnt really have any sort of control over my feelings though
Queenie Kitty: see i get confused as to who's whom :/
Jeremy: what
Queenie Kitty: nothing i'm just a psycho bitch ignore me
Jeremy: no
Jeremy: explain
Jeremy: dude
Jeremy: i can guarantee im just as psycho
Queenie Kitty: ah ok fine
Queenie Kitty: i'm trusting you ok
Jeremy: and i wont judge you
Queenie Kitty: ok fine
Queenie Kitty: don't tell this is a secret
Jeremy: alright
Queenie Kitty: um so i kinda thought you were him because he has planned this elaborate scavenger hunt
Queenie Kitty: also i have bipolar disorder so my realities are very very twisted
Queenie Kitty: so you probably should like me because i'm crazy
Jeremy: you thought i was who
Queenie Kitty: urgh
Queenie Kitty: my boyfriend whom i only know through tumblr
Queenie Kitty: DON'T TELL
Queenie Kitty: sfiosfodifs i'm crazy
Jeremy: ok
Queenie Kitty: that is the only explanation
Jeremy: im so glad i let my feelings get ahead of reality
Jeremy: just
Jeremy: wow
Jeremy: alright
Queenie Kitty: wait why are you glad?
Jeremy: i feel like somebody punched me in the chest with a chainsaw
Queenie Kitty: i'm sorry
Jeremy: glad is the largest overstatement
Queenie Kitty: OH
Queenie Kitty: um
Queenie Kitty: don't worry
Queenie Kitty: i feel the same way
Queenie Kitty: you have no idea
Jeremy: um
Queenie Kitty: it is SO hard
Queenie Kitty: dating a celebrity
Queenie Kitty: he's fucking famous ok
Jeremy: yeah
Queenie Kitty: it's really fucking annoying
Queenie Kitty: i'm sorry i'm venting to you
Queenie Kitty: but um. this is fucking ridiculous. i hate myself.
Jeremy: yeah
Queenie Kitty: i'm so sorry. but like yeah i feel like shit too
Queenie Kitty: please don't tell omg
Jeremy: i dont uh
Jeremy: really give a shit
Queenie Kitty: ah ok :(
Jeremy: fuck off

In case you don't want to read all of that, or if you did and still don't understand, she thought I... was Justin Bieber. The whole time she was talking to me.