Must. Not. Spaz.

Um.
Ok.

So... Sunday was my birthday. I had a bunch of friends from church over for dinner and games, and it was SO much fun. It was so nice to just hang out with everyone and talk and have fun.

I was a little nervous about whether or not my crush (the guy I've liked for the past year, whose name will not be disclosed. Just in case.) would show up, since he never RSVP'd on Facebook, and he hadn't responded to my reminder text I sent out to him and a few other non-responders earlier that day. He'd originally told me at church that he'd be able to make it, but his house caught fire about a week and a half ago so I wasn't sure if he'd still come or not. He showed up, and of course my night got instantly better. I started grinning like an idiot as soon as he came around the corner into the family room of course, but he wished me a happy birthday and told me he has a present for me, but he'd have to bring it to small group next week because he didn't have it with him.

Strange occurrence number 1.

He started catching us all up on his house situation; he'd sent out a mass text last week, but didn't really give any details at the time. So he told us what happened and where his family's been staying while the insurance sorts things out. And he might have been staring at me just a little bit (I made sure to wear my favorite dress, which also happens to be the one he complimented me in way back when he was still acting interested), which I took as a good sign.

At about 9, one of my friends had to leave, and since she was getting a ride from another person there, there ended up being a group of probably 4 people that left at once (several people had left at various times before this as well). On their way out, one of the guys asked my crush if he needed a ride home, since his sister is borrowing his car at the moment. Since they're pretty close friends, I figured he'd probably leave then. Add in the fact that he's hardly talked to me at all in the past few months, I didn't think he'd want to stay after everyone left and be almost alone with me. He turned down a ride, and said he'd call his dad for a ride.

Strange occurrence number 2.

He called his dad, and my friend Madi and I were in the kitchen. She knows I like him, so she leans in and whispers, "Do you want me to stay? Go? Will it be awkward?" I asked her to stay at least for a bit, because as I mentioned before, I wasn't sure if he'd want to be alone with me after his sudden change in behavior toward me. So the three of us hung out and talked while he waited for his dad to call back about coming to get him.

Finally at about 9:30, Madi looks at me and tells me she's tired; she HAS to go home to sleep. I walk her out, and she asks again if I need her to stay until he leaves. I told her it'd be fine (he'd been nice the whole party; making eye contact, teasing me about being "an adult now," etc.). I went back to the kitchen and sat down, and he asked about what I've been reading during my quiet times recently. We talked for maybe 10 minutes, and his dad called to let him know he was outside. He got up to leave, thanked me for inviting him, and gave me a hug.

Strange occurrence number 3.

He gave me a hug.
I'm still grinning like a dork about that.
This guy is way more introverted than me. I've only ever seen him hug one other person, and it looked like it was because she was a hug-everyone type person who hadn't seen him in forever (she initiated the hug; I walked away because I didn't want to over-think it). I've seen him give his mom side-hugs, but only maybe twice. So if I was expecting anything, it wasn't physical contact.

Trying to remain calm at least until he left, I walked him to the door and thanked him for coming. He said again that he'd be sure to bring my gift next week, and that it was good talking to me (I wish I could remember exactly what he said; it was an interesting thing to say for some reason). I closed the door and promptly spazzed out like a maniac.

There could be hope.
I'm hoping there's still hope.
God, please let there still be hope.

Needless to say, this was probably my best birthday ever.