Meh.

Tomorrow's the start of junior year. I'm not ready to be around people I hate every single day. I wasn't even ready for band camp to be here, and that's saying a lot. I have a couple of people I'm looking forward to seeing, but the rest I'm like, 'Ugh, what even.'
Mom and I were talking and she understands. Someone asked me the other day if I had any girl friends (I predominately hang out with guys), and I replied, "I try not to." It's the truth. I talk to a few that I really like, but girls are just so catty and feel the need to know everything about you. Pisses me off. I like to remain private, so no thank you. And, if they don't like you, holy hell, hold on. I'm not even dealing with the drama this year. If any comes up, it's adios. No reason for it for drama or fake people. I have more than enough on my plate and I have to deal with school, marching band, cheerleading, and all that stuff too.

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It's crazy to think that I'm going to DCI in 11 days. DCI Championships in 11 days with some of the best friends I could ask for. Oh my gosh.
My three friends, Olivia, Mackenzie, and Kayla got along splendidly the other night with some of my Maconaquah friends. I'm hoping to plan something in late August and after District for a party with them. It was so much fun last year with them after District, so I'm hoping it'll be a good time this year!

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I have a couple of friends in my classes this year, so I'm glad. I apparently have Web Design with DJ next semester, so that'll be interesting. A lot of it will depend on the first day and seeing who's in my classes then too.

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Band camp was difficult. Mentally exhausting and my arms were physically exhausted. I've gained a lot of muscle though, and it tested my patience, so I feel like if I could deal with some of that stuff, I can deal with a lot. I was so mentally exhausted over two weeks; I never will be able to wrap my head around the fact that I was the only cheerleader that didn't burst out crying at cheer camp. I've dealt with more stressful situations, I guess.
It's hard only having 5-6 designated leaders. I mean, some people don't count the guard captains and drum captains as leaders, but I do. There's three of us. Two drum majors and a band captain. That's not a lot for a band that almost has 90-100 members. Especially when it seems like only two of us are doing work. Ehem.
I have personal issues with it just because I'm frustrated with doing two jobs instead of just my own. And when someone else that I work with is unorganized and loses their stuff all the time, yeah, that bothers me. Oh, and, if you're going to tell the band not to do something, DON'T DO IT. What even.
Exhibition was okay besides the fact that the drum line started a measure early and the closer fell apart. I don't know what happened with drum line, but I understand the whole closer problem. They were too far back field; they couldn't hear pit at all. Think of it this way: when I was conducting one of the measure, i was hearing their 3 of the last measure. It was too hard for us to do all of that and pick it apart. Sam, Hope, and Mr. E all said the same thing.
Mr. Evans made me laugh and feel better at the end of it. He thanked me for all I did over the two weeks and said that I have good intuition and I have been doing a good job at pulling all the parts together, and knowing them all. I did try and learn how all the parts went though. Percussion was by far the hardest. The funniest thing was, "I think you went by your heart's tempo instead of the metronome." Haha, I could feel myself going a bit faster than the regular tempo just because of nerves, so I definitely will accept that comment.

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My mom and I were talking the other day on the way home and it was funny. We both agreed that we've finally accepted how I am. I'm just different.. quirky, I guess. Plain and nerdy. Yes, I like my makeup, clothes, et cetera, but I'm a plain person through and through and music will always be my passion.
Granted, I do feel like I've been looking a lot prettier lately, but I've been trying differently. Different hairstyles, different eye makeup, tan, dyed my hair. My style is random; whatever I want basically. I've actually picked up a few dresses this year; they're all pretty flattering too! I'm wearing one tomorrow! I also got my normal jeans and t-shirts, but I'm over the whole graphic t phase and into stuff that looks more mature, I guess.
I just.. I'll always be different from kids in my school. My whole ideas are very liberal, and I'm very mature. I just hate the fact that 99% of my close friends are leaving me this year. What am I supposed to do next year?