I am a contradiction to myself.

Okay so I've made this realization about myself before but now I just did again after reading a story about this girl who is so against love and doesn't want to be in love blah blah blah, so of course she meets a guy who she just falls head over heels in love with. So I'll just say a few things about me. I am shy, quiet, like to blend in than stand out, doesn't like being the center of attention, yada yada yada. Here's what I do. I wear things that draw attention to myself, I dye my hair a total different color every few months(now I have brown and blue hair), depending where I am I will just scream at the top of my lungs, well actually those are at wrestling events and basketball games, well maybe that doesn't really count. I mean everyone's caught in all the excitment..so anyway, back on topic. All of that I'm like a starburst! Solid but then juicy ha ha just wanted to say that cause I like those commercials :P
So now on to the realization that hit me tonight! So here's a little more background on the story. Her parents get divorced and to her love is overrated blah blah blah. So she meets the guy she practically swore she wouldn't fall in love and she does but she won't say it cause of her views on love. So now how this whole thing goes to me. I don't see the best examples of love really. I mean by family and friends love just doesn't seem to work you could say. Well my parents have been together for 15 years but they do fight, well all couples fight. ANYWAY, I just don't see the best examples of it. So love is a scary and overrated thing to me. I see my friends get their hearts broke and I'm honestly scared to have it happen to me. As I write this I feel like just a whiney, annoying teenager but whatever, my profile I'll post what I want, this is where I vent! Anyway, I say that a lot. So back on track! I want to fall in love though, I would like to have a boyfriend who would love me for me, blah blah blah. So there's the me that doesn't want to get hurt or set myself up for it and then there's the me who wants to be in love and have a boyfriend. Just to have a guy love me, blah blah blah. More whiney teenage crap. So I just feel like a contradicition to myself. I feel better now, vented it all out without having to actually talk to someone.
<i>~Jamie Elizabeth</i>