Is it Wrong?

So this is my first blog entry and I think my mind is about to explode...

Sometimes I feel like I'm a horrible person. I feel selfish. Nobody is ever around and I'm constantly by myself. Whenever I say something to my mom or dad, they make me feel bad about it. So is it wrong for me to want them around more?

Is it wrong for me to want my mom to focus on me instead of spending loads of money on remodeling the bathroom and the front of the house?

Is it wrong for me to want my dad to actually want to see me? For him to spend time with me instead of his girlfriend and her grandson that he seems to love so much more than his own daughter?

My dad is always telling me how he's so busy with work and then he goes out to a Journey concert with his girlfriend. I get it. I'm not the center of the universe, he needs time with adults...People that are not me. Sure I understand, but how come he never wants to spend time with me anymore? But whenever he gets the chance he is right there babysitting Torrin for his girlfriend. She freaking uses him for everything. He's always there if she needs a babysitter, someone to mow the law, to fix whatever needs to be fixed, to store shit in his garage because she can't stop buying antiques. But he can't focus on me or my older sister who has two kids of her own and was diagnosed with cancer?

And then when I am with him somtimes it's nice. Sometimes we have fun, but then he wants to go to a party for his girlfriend's family or he wants to go see Torrin. He's never completely happy with just being around me.

Is it because he's always wanted a son? Having two daughters just isn't good enough?

I'm not going to even start on my mom. I just needed to vent.

I know people have it such worse than me and that I should stop complaing, but it hurts to know you're not good enough for your own family