The unknown thoughts

Being lonely is just your minds way of saying it is sad and betrayed, but the world also has a funny way of showing you that you aren't alone in this black abyss called life. I was once told that I would make a great writer if I just let my thoughts out. When I was in High School, my English teacher told me that if I wanted my writing to be good all I had to do was believe in what I wrote no matter if I had to turn it in for a grade. So one night I sat down and wrote my teacher the paper he had been waiting for all along and knew I could write. In the last couple years a lot of things have happened that took my ability to write away for many reasons.
In 2010 I lost the only man who saw me as a girl but treated me no different than the guys around me. He was one of the main men in my life that inspired me to love the outdoors for the beauty in it. What really broke me was the fact that I never got to say goodbye. My family decided to eat out in also telling us that our Uncle had passed away. I then locked myself in the car, screaming and crying asking the only question one can ask at the time, why. Why couldn't you stay to see me graduate, go to my wedding or be there when my first baby was born? I lost all my ability to think or see the beauty in the world for months. At the time before, I had signed up for a thing called Yellowstone Country Guardians or YCG. Here another man was able to help me see past the grief and pain long enough to see the happiness, beauty and silence the world had to offer a person like me. He helped me look at the world long enough to write again, to open to the world about the place my Uncle and I loved most in the world. He taught me that my Uncle was with me no matter where each of us was in the world, that this place that we loved held everything to be close to one another.
Two years later I thought I had fallen in love, but then life got complicated. I was pregnant. During my pregnancy, I had a hard time because my son's father turned out to be a soulless person who cared only about himself. I again lost my will of the words and drew a blank mind. Then my son was born and it was the most beautiful thing in the world. But for many months the blank card was still there. It wasn't until today, the day I decided that my life, love and heart belonged to someone who would treat it right and not for granted. I also got my ability to write back in my life.
So to all who think that they have nothing special about them, your wrong, You just have to believe in what you want and it will come natural, but only you and you alone can decide that. Don't ever let anyone or thing make it so you stop because if you bottle it all up one day that cork will pop and it won't be a pretty site. Believe in the things that mean the most and just let it flow through you like the air you breathe, the beauty you see or pain you feel. Just stay confident and let nothing stand in your way.
Some people in the world believe one day I can be a great writer, I may just have to prove them right.