Thoughts

The ED thoughts are like a merry go round they swirl around in my head. ED Monster has really pretty attractive statue horses you want to ride on those ones, and Healthy Mind has pretty ones too but they are much simpler, you're more drawn to ED Monsters, you look back and forth between the two, ED Monster encourages you "Come on it's perfectly safe."
You take a few steps forward, but Healthy Mind stops you "She's lying."
Healthy Mind warns you that once you get on the horse that seems so perfect and pretty you will be stuck and get hurt, and while ED Monster seems so sincere you can see the lie, but you can help but be sucked in, but you know Healthy Mind is right and you fight to stay away.
It's like two people pulling you on each arm, and you know which one you should go to, but the lies just sometimes sound so much more better, because sometimes the truth is hard to deal with and you'd much rather just be in your own world and be on that pretty horse with the jewels, even though you know you're gonna get hurt.
Today I realized I way to close to that pretty horse than I like, even though I've been saying I'm recovering, I haven't been eating nearly enough, after counting up my average calorie intake. So I have to take a few steps back and go do what I know is right even though it doesn't seem very nice at the moment, but in the long run, I know it will be better.
I make a few mistakes but as long as I figure them out and correct them I think it will be okay.