I'm arrogant with low self-esteem

So, in PHSE today, I learnt that I have low self-esteem. However, I am the most arrogant person I know, I'm almost as arrogant as Ian. But yeah, like a lot of the time, people think I am just joking but I GENUINELY see myself (most of the time) as the greatest person ever. I'm in a really sort of...high on life mood lately, like the last couple of months I've just been like "wow, I really am perfect"

But then I KNOW that I'm going to wake up soon and be like "I HATE MYSELF OH MY GOD LOOK AT ME" but then I'll still be arrogant, because it's just in my blood. I hate being so vain and stuff though because everyone just assumes I'm an arsehole and I'm not D: well, either that or they just think that I'm joking all the time.

If I don't become famous when I'm older, I don't even know how I'd cope because I SERIOUSLY believe that I deserve that, like without a shadow of a doubt. And I KNOW right now that I sounded like an idiot because I'm acting SO vain and arrogant but I can't help it, I'll just.

It's so weird too because I always think "no one can ever find me attractive" but then I say (and think) "I'm the most amazing and perfect person ever, who isn't in love with me?" and I truly believe that as well. It really sucks omg I'd prefer hating myself all the time, even though being this arrogant does make ME happy, I think it gets on everyone else's nerves :/// I don't want to be annoying, I just honestly believe this. I hate the down moments, but they don't last very long...a day, usually, if even that, then whoa, cocky dickhead emma has returned.

WHY AM I SO DIFFERENT TO A NORMAL TEENAGER?! ;_;