After Everything You Put Me Through, I Should've ***ing Pissed On You!

I had a best friend, she was my friend of eight years, I knew her longer than I knew my older brother, I only met him four years ago which is really saying something. I thought she knew me and I thought she loved me but it's funny how things change. Eight years, eight gloroious years. We were the best of friends but so fucking different, I'm a big black chick and she's this tiny Asian lady, I love rock and heavy metal she was into RAP. But despite that, we loved each other, we never let out differences get in the way of one another and that's what I love about our friendship...
Or so I thought.
I found out my best friend was talking about me, she didn't like me for who I was and I couldn't understand why. I confronted her about it and she denied it at first, but fnially gave in, these were her reasons for hating me.
I'm weird: Yes, I know I'm weird, in my spare time, mostly when I'm home alone, isntead of going out and doing illegal things, I stay at home, dress up with wigs and crazy make upand I clean the house.
I'm an enbarrassment: I guess no one wants to be seen with a fat black chick who has the haircut of a dude, I like my hair how it is, I love that it is long in the middle and shaved on the sides, I was never one to have long hair, even when I went to primary school with her and I finally find a haircut I like and she doesn't like it.
I'm too loud: I'm black. I laugh loud, a talk loud, I do everything loud. I can't help it.
I guess on another note, she was saying I was ugly as well. She just got into her first relationship and I had two before that, as soon as I came out with it, she went around saying "How could Dana get a boyfriend? Look at her. She's not even that pretty"
YES I'M UGLY! YES I'M FAT! YES I HAVE SCARS RUNNING UP AND DOWN MY WRIST AND ALL OVER MY FUCKING BODY! NO NEED TO FUCKING RUB IT IN WITH EXTRA FUCKING SALT AND LEMON!
I don't know how I got into a fucking relationship before you either.
But this isn't even about relationships, we've been friends for eight years and you were talking shit about me for a year and a half. I wish you would've said it to my face but no, you let it play off. I bought everything for you, I spent over 50 dollars on you every week and I don't even care about the money. I just want to know what the fuck I did? What did I do that was so horrible you had to do this to me?
I don't know.
I felt like venting.
I see your face everywhere and it makes me sad to think that we had something special ebcause you were my best fucking friend and I would die for you any day of the week and at any time of day but I guess you don't feel the same. I don't care that you don't, I just wish that maybe, at one point, you would of....