Set Me Free

I’m a bit dazed and confused right now. I’m stuck deciding what I want to do with the rest of my life. It sounds so horrible when I put it that way though. I’m not sure whether or not what I want is even humanly possible seeing as I’ve been stuck for almost four years now and I’m still not happy. I’m not even sure what makes me happy anymore. It’s sad, but true. So basically here’s where my dilemma lies.

I’m currently a senior English major at my hometown university. I want to pursue writing as a career although my main goal would be to writing for magazine to pay the bills while doing my creative writing on the side. I haven’t been back to school to finish my degree yet and it’s going to be at least until next Fall until I can get back to finish my last few courses. I’m currently taking a break from school so I’ll eventually have to go back, but I don’t want to go back to my old university. I’d rather start completely over and go somewhere new, but it’s damn near impossible.

I personally would love to go to Full Sail University and get their Creative Writing for Entertainment Degree. The university where I go now only has two creative writing courses and they are basically on an odd year rotation since the department is so small. I am also not on good terms with the professors except for a few. Mainly because they make me feel like I’m not as good as the rest of the students in the class. I’d rather save up my money and try going for something that would actually make me feel good about myself.

My other option was what I wanted to do before I started college. I had the urge to go to culinary school because odds are if I’m not writing I’m cooking something up. I’m a pretty good cook meaning that I can at least follow a recipe and that I’m good at tweaking things to my personal tastes. I’m naturally a baker and would love to own a diner/bakery someday. I know I’ll probably go to a local community college to get my culinary degree though and that’s perfectly fine with me. I’m just torn.

I’m tired of letting what my family thinks dictate what I want. My sister wants me to go back and my mom just wants me to do what will make me happy. Only problem is I’ve been doing what I know will be easiest and what will just get out of school faster. I’ve never really thought about what I wanted therefore I let my grades suffer for it. I have high enough of a GPA to transfer, but it’ll be a struggle since Financial Aid for me would be non-existent. I feel screwed no matter what I do. If anyone has any advice it’d be greatly appreciated.