New Years Resolution?

Every year I do consider making one, or a few small ones. Or a cacaphony of life changing wishes.
For example I should have a pretty big GET A JOB! plastered to the the inside of my skull as a reminder.

Last year was a rough year, one that I'd like to forget mostly.
I rang in the new year alone in a motel room between two groups of friends (in one creepy place), and on New Years Day I got propositioned by a very old man in broad daylight while waiting for my friends to pick me up. This probably should have given me some idea as to how the year was going to go.

So then I found myself sleeping on my friends floor for a month, with her awesome family to hang out with, while she was at work. I didn't have a job, I didn't have any obligations, I had all the time in the world. But there was nothing keeping me anywhere anyway.

I wasted the summer while trying desperately not to do just that. Then I had to go somewhere, everyone else was going off to Uni or overseas, or just hanging around home and working, but I didn't have a home and I couldn't get a job and I didn't really have a clear idea what I wanted to do. I caught the ferry to Wellington and bunked at my aunt's for a month or so, but I couldn't do that forever.
While there I got an acceptance letter left over from a forgotten application to Nursing School, and my friends were calling me to come flatting with them; so i jumped in to action and joined the flat search while reapplying for the spot in Nursing because it was something to do and a means to an end, Nursing had to take me somewhere right?

We moved into our flat and I floundered, still waiting for a new acceptance letter and still looking for a job, because I had to do something right?
Winter came fast and our flat had no other way to describe it, it was miserable. One flatmate was beginning to remind me of my sister, who had tortured me for years and still causes me to have panic attacks at the sight or thought of her.

I got accepted again, after a truly wasted half year, and went to the ever dull Palmerston North - "Student City".
I've only been here six months, but nursing wasn't right and I still can't find a job. I think i might want to join the navy (become a medic, in the future study Occupational Therapy), but maybe I just want to see a little more of the world, and maybe I just want to write.

I don't know, I'd like to figure something out for at least a while. I'm not very hopeful and somehow optimistic, somewhere deep inside anyway.
I know I don't need to do everything right now, but it seems like I'm right back to where I started last year. I need to get out, I need a chance but I can't get going enough to make one for myself.

So, New Year's Resolutions.
I'll make one blanket one. Get a job, to make some money, to be able to go somewhere else and learn something that might be considered good life experience, and try and finish starting the life your manic depressive parents started.
P.S - and maybe keep up with the blogging thing.

Happy New Year!
Magenta :)