GUESS WHO JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK

I GO UP THE STAIRS TO GET A GODDAMN TART AND WHEN I TURN THE CORNER THERE IS A FUCKING GIANT IN MY LIVING ROOM. SO I DID THIS:



LITERALLY, I DID THAT. Except with a look of terror on my face and about fifty times faster. It was my sister's friend, and he's like six thousand feet tall. When I finish this and go back upstairs to get another fuqqin' tart I'm going to look at him like so:



--

I shaved my legs for the first time in.. ya u dont wanna kno



THEY'RE SMOOTH LIKE A JUNGLE RIVER BEING NARRATED BY MORGAN FREEMAN.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeup. I'm real bored.

[Edit: HE'S STILL HERE I CAN STILL HEAR HIM. HE SHOULD LEAVE SO I CAN GO UPSTAIRS TO GET MY TART IN PEACE]

[He's still here so I've been resorted to lying on my bed and icing my ego (heating my knee, actually), TARTLESS]