Stalking Exes.

I stalk my exes online. I know it's a little creepy, and I refuse to admit it to anyone other than my best friend, but it is true. Every once in a while I go back on my old facebook and look at them... What they are doing, what they are up to, if they are still together with their girlfriends... A lot of them are still with the same girl they got with right after me, and quite honestly... Their happiness makes me so glad I left them. They have found some amazing women. They have found women that could give them everything I couldn't. Women who weren't as insecure as I, weren't as unstable, weren't as depressed as I. During the time we were together, I was a wreck. I was depressed. I was at my lowest, so I did the best I could. I left. I knew they were hurting. I knew they could never look me in the eye again. I know that one in particular was so broken he cried... I know it sucks, but it had to be done. I cried a lot because I had given up someone amazing to be with someone who was below what I had left behind. I left a diamond for a piece of scrap metal. I feel a small tinge of jealousy when I see their smiling faces in pictures... talking about how they could never forget that first kiss... how he couldn't believe how beautiful it was to kiss the "most beautiful girl in the world." I remember at one point he said it to me. Our first kiss together and everything that led up to it was something out of a high school movie... During our senior walk... in the middle of the football field... surrounded by a bunch of seniors screaming "Class of 2012" and hugging. People were screaming, jumping about, causing a ruckus... and he and I were in the middle of it hugging.. crying... and as the night progressed we ended up kissing. It was beautiful, sweet, and innocent... and by morning it was all gone. I gave him up because I was being held back by my own demons. Now that I look back on it, I regret it... but it was the best thing I could ever do for him. I gave up my diamond so that he could move on to bigger and better things.