A Big Eye- Opener

I really had no idea what I was in for at this point. And i had no idea how I would act or talk. I was hoping i would come off as a cool, fun, bubbly girl who's fun to chill with. More importantly I was hoping I wouldnt trip over some chairs and fall flat on my face in front of a lunchroom filled with, oh i dont know, LIKE 600 FREEKING PEOPLE. But I made my way to the table with Lauren Without tripping or anything. Im sure i looked awkward as fuck though. I was pretty nervous. So whatever i sit down and i feel pretty awkward and uncomfortable. The girls give me a compliment here and there, but it was pretty obvious I stood out from the rest of them. They were all wearing expensive jeans, clothes from Pink and Victoria's Secret. There nails were all painted a pretty pastel and there hair and makeup was virtually perfect. They were all very tan too. I took note of all these things. I wanted to look and act like them and just fit in with them. As I said, I stood out from them .. by alot. I was wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt, I didnt put much effort into my makeup or hair and my nail polish was chipped and looked dull. yikes. This was NOT okay.

I sat through that lunch without saying really anything. I'd never talked to anyone at that table but Lauren and we'd only started talking less than an hour ago. Besides them looking different from me, they spoke and acted differently too. They partied and got drunk allll the time. They messed around with tons of guys too. I could guarantee they'd made out with more guys sitting in that lunchroom than i had in my entire existance. They snuck put a lot too. They talked about good and bad kissers that they've all shared and Im just sitting here like... WHAT. THE. FUCK!?

They really were your sterotypical popular girls. It was actually pretty shocking too. I never thought we were THAT much different. But apparently, I had been wrong.

Lunch ends and I awkwardly walk silently with them to our classes. And Im just there thinking like really brain!? really?? You cant make me confident and not so socially awkward for like 20 goddam minutes!? no. of course not. you hate me. scumbag brain. Thanks, Thanks a lot.

I go home that night replaying everything. Analyzing what I needed to change to fit in with them more. I spent hours trying to perfect the way I talk and look and act and even the way I think. Tomorrow was going to be different. I would come out of my shell and Id show them that dammit, i can be popular too. And over the next week I transformed myself . Even my other friends saw the difference. I loved it. I was a new person now and for the first time in awhile, it seemed like things were starting to go my way. I couldnt wait for lunch to show them the new me .