Senior year of high school I had the same future plans of my peers. I would finish up college, get a terrible job that just barely paid the bills, move into a tiny tiny apartment where I always heard the traffic, and stay in on Friday nights because I was broke poor. It's not even a pretty future. In all honesty, my hopes during senior year weren't that big. All I knew was that two years from then, I was going to be walking across a stage in a black gown and get my diploma. After that, in my mind, I was under no circumstances moving back home, and in with my parents.
Two years doesn't seem like a long time, and really it's not. My friends who will be gone for four plus years at universities across the country or seas, props to them. I couldn't do it. Two years at university really pushed my limits. So I'm glad that I'm done with it. I'm also more than happy to get out of this crappy house with so-so roommates, and move on from this part of the state. Couldn't be more ecstatic.
But here's what I'm moving to: No job, not really a room anymore, no place to really volunteer at the moment, and here's the kicker--no friends. Now that last one is only sort of true. I will have friends around for about two months. But then they will be back off to college leaving me all alone in a shitty city where finding friends is something you do when you're 2 not 20. And even that is pushing the truth a bit. I do technically have 'friends' who are going to be in town. Four to be exact. FOUR.
They aren't even really my friends. That is not me sounding like a bitch, that is the truth. These four people, four friends, just are not the people I go to for, well, anything.
The first one, I've known her since first grade. In elementary school we were inseperable. In middle school we continued to be friends. In high school she started drinking, partying, and doing drugs. I ditched her during that phase. I'm still like an addition to the family. Her parents see me as a fourth child and her younger sisters sees me as the sister she always wanted. Since her rebelious teenage phase she has been kicked out of house twice, failed out of one of the largest party schools in the country, and is now trying to get into one of the largest party schools in the state (and join a 'classy' sorority!) She's only in town for the indefinite future. Once she gets that acceptance letter it will be 'goodbye community college, hello university...again.' I've met up with her a few times. She still attempts to use me as a scapegoat to get around her parents. And she still hasn't fully grown up from her teen years. The other thing with her is that I swear to god drama follows her. But she is more than excited that I'll be coming home in a month.
The second friend, this one's good. We had been best friends since first grade. She was always there for me and vice versa. Than sophomore year of high school she got a boyfriend who absolutely did not like me. She wouldn't choose--though really she chose him but would tell you otherwise. We haven't been the same since. We put up this front for our families because they are still friends, but besides the few family get togethers and the birthday party traditions, I don't talk to her. She wasn't even the one to tell me her dad was in the hospital, she dropped out of college, or that she was in yet another serious relationship. So of course, she hasn't said one thing to me about me being home in a month, but her family seems eager for me to be back. It will be months of fake smiles and sugary-sweet laughs because there's no other way we're going to be getting through those parties.
The third isn't even really a friend anymore. Not by definition at least. She more like one of those people your obligated to check up on every few months just to make sure her and her family are doing well. And then of course report that information back to your own parents. We've known each other since, well since the day she was born. We were neighbors, best friends, sisters...my god were we sisters. There was at least one fight a week, but the next day all was forgotten. After her family moved about a mile away in middle school, we lost contact. Middle school and high school passed by with little to no contact and then we walked together and sat together at our community college graduation. This was by mere accident but whatever, our families were happy. She had moved to montana with her much older boyfriend...and when that failed she went back home. Told my brother that I should get ahold of her when I'm in town next. I had done so over spring break but she stood me up. Not exactly a friendship I want to bloom again but honestly my best bet.
And lastly the friend who is actually a friend. But she's that annoying friend who you can only handle so much of. Honestly she's worse than my parents when it comes to me, my career choice, and my lack of any love life. It's like every guy she knows who is single could be my future husband or something. Which is completely, totally not true. She's also extremely christian and I think she expected that by me going to a christian university I was somehow magically going to be converted. I wasn't. She's disappointed. So now I will get to hear about all of the wonderful things god does while being set up on dates and being told where I should work.
So, that's what I have waiting for me back home. And really, it's no better than where I am now. No job, no friends, no life.
I guess that means I'll be doing a lot of writing this summer
Until next time.
<3 Siobhan
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