Closer is the story I probably update the least. There are several reasons for this. I am writing this because I think my readers deserve an explanation about why even if I say a chapter should be update it is not up till a few days later.
For one it's an emotionally intense story to write. Writing about canings and whippings from a first person point of view is tough. A lot of the chapters are written from one of the submissive's point of view because I more closely identify with them. I could never imagine myself enjoying inflicting pain, consensual or not. My mindset tends to be a lot like that of the very troubled lyricist and rhythm guitar player of the Manic Street Preachers. He has been quoted as saying: "I'm not a violent person at all,When I felt like clubbing this particular journalist to death, I just directed it at myself," and "I'm not a person who can scream and shout so this is my only outlet." It difficult to write about completely giving up all control. In the cases where I write Kuza's POV it is prbably the most diffcult because he is very sure about almost having a total power exchange with Micheal. Jayy, surprisingly, is one of the easiest characters to right because he is struggling with decision. Trying to get in a mindset of any of the characters is intense. I think the experiences partners experience is why people who participate in BDSM have higher emotional intelligence.
Another reason is there is a lot of research that goes into the story to make it realistic. The Farm is completely fantasy, at least I hope. However, human trafficking is a real issue. The selling of people is REAL. And the truth is not all children who are sold into modern day slavery are foreign. Many kids get caught up in the trade after running away from abusive homes and people promising them a loving caring place. The activities are researched and safety is a high priority. Scat, breathe, and blood play are very risky. There is no safe way to practice scat or breath play. If anyone says there is, they are lying. There is no way to safely cut off or restrict someones air supply as there is no way to ensure feces does not contain deadly disease. Other things such as sensations comes from reading first hand accounts. With the popularization of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, many more resources have become available. It still takes time to research ideas and understand the psychology behind things. My main goal with this story is to demystify BDSM in away by showing the reasoning behind actions.
Smut, as I said in a previous blog, is hard for me to write. I've been really depressed the past couple of weeks which has made writing for this hard. I have about half a chapter that I set aside for when I am in a place where I am able to write smut to finish it off.
I am going to have an update up by Saturday morning. I have most of a chapter written and I am about to go finish it up. I just got my two cats today, so I have been watching over them. I am trying to coax them out of hiding, which means I am sitting trying to familiarize with their surroundings. It also happens to be great for writing because I can sit with them and type on my laptop. It would really help if you guys would give me some ideas of what you want to see. BDSM cover such a wide array of things. Leave a coment on this or the story, or if you feel uncomfortable with that you can message me and I promise to keep it anonymous if you wish for people not to know who suggested it. If you don't mind being mentioned, I will give you credit.
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