Who Am I?

I am not pefect nor will I ever be. But that doesn't mean rub it in my face. He says he loves me, he says he cares about me. But where is the love and care? Where is the affection that you say you show ? I can't be myself because you will not allow it, you hate the way I am. Hell I don't even know who I am.

I'm not even me anymore.

Where did the old me go? Who was I before you came along? What kind of person was I? You have changed me into something that I don't even know. I use to have friends, I use to have a family but all of that is gone. I am sad, and alone and that is my greatest fear -- being alone.

You don't care about me, you could careless about me. Where are you at when I need you? In Florida? Living it up while I spiral down? Is this what you want? Do you want me to be unhappy? Does that give you the rush that you always crave? Because of you, I hate my life. I hate everything about it, and when you bring me down and tell me how I am nothing to you, how do you think that makes me feel?

Remember when you said I was your only girl? Remember when you said that no one could ever replace me? I hate those lies. You want her as well. You don't just want me. 'Shes family' you say, 'ive known her my entire life'. Keep the bullshit to yourself. She is a whore, everyone even says that she is, and you make sure you go see her each and everyday. You go to her, before you even make sure that I am alright.

Speaking of being alright, I was at one point. I was happy and I loved who I was. I don't know how to be that anymore. I cry everyday because it takes the pain away. I am not allowed to do anything anymore. You say I can't listen to Avenged Sevenfold anymore because they are retarded screamers. You say that I can't hang out with any of my friends because they are all 'fake'. You say that I can't dress the way I want because it is embarrassing and I look ugly. You say I can't be around my family because all they do is use me.

Guess what? You use me. You make me do everything for you just for your own pleasure. You screw me then you literally screw me. You only need me to put you to sleep and that's it. I don't want to be like this anymore. I want to be happy. I want live once again. Why can't you see that? Why won't you allow that?

Why can't I be me anymore?