him

So i found him.... finally i found him. The one that i want so badly but cant have .... you see that's me i don't want you until l i cant have you. And that's him.... see its my fault if i would have used my heart instead of my head this time maybe i would be happy, maybe i wouldn't be going into depression ...... maybe i wouldn't be starving myself. YEA i know its wrong but i don't care anymore. He makes me see differently he makes me feel different ... happy but he turned things upside down now i want to do wrong . You see im never the girl with depression problems but him... he makes me strive for more ... for him i want to be good, better, beautiful...... perfect, i want to make him see me as perfect. I want him and only him. Now he is stuck in my head , all i think about , the reason i do what i do .... scream, stare, starve. The reason i cry and hurt. I don't know him well but i do know if hes not mine soon i might actually die.