Just call me The Grinch

Christmas is one it's way and I can't say that I'm looking forward to it. In my house, it's just another day. I can't remember the last time I actually had a good Christmas. Okay, maybe just one, when I was really little. I remember waking up super early to watch the Arthur Christmas Special with my mom, dad, and little brother followed by opening a bunch of gifts. After that, it all went to shit.

The rest of the Christmas' consisted of fights, crying, and screaming. My family just can't get along. It's either my dad and my uncle are in an argument or my uncle and my grandfather, or my dad and my grandfather, and even sometimes all of them are in an argument. The most recent argument consisted of us pretty much never speaking to one another. Since I was fourteen the Christmas' weren't really anything special. No tree, or decorations, or food, or even gifts to open. My mom lost her spirit and along with hers went everyone else's.

Now, every time this holiday rolls around I find myself sulking in my bedroom wishing I was somewhere else. I usually spend it with my friends and their family because mine does nothing. I sit in my friends home watching their family be family and wish that mine could be that way. I watch them open gifts, and receive special food that their grandparents prepared special for them, and receive all the love the family has to offer and as selfish as it may sound, I am extremely jealous of those people, because I never had a good Christmas. I never had a big family to share anything with.

I hope to one day make this holiday a special one again for when I have a family, but for now it's just another day... pretty sad stuff...