Story I'm actually proud of???

I remember actually going on this website like a year ago and thinking how cool it would be to upload stories and have people read them. At the time I had this story that I thought was really great but now when I look back on it....it was really bad. It was horrible, I'm kind of embarrassed to even talk about it today. When I do bring it up I do it in a jokey way because that's how horrible it was. I went on this website again tonight because I started to think about a story that I actually liked and I think could get some positive feedback. I've shown my friends and my English teacher and they seemed to like it. So I thought it would be safe to actually try to gain an actual audience.....if anything this is self advertising but I really think this story could go somewhere.
~Mjw

http://www.mibba.com/Stories/Read/551618/Songbird/ I'd really appreciate it (Also please leave advice and anything I could change for the better)