Just Gonna Complain to Ya Guys

So I stupidly joined track and field because my friends made me.

Pretty much the worst decision I've made this year. Actually, it IS the worst decision I've made this year. By far.

So my friends are really athletic, right? REALLY athletic. And I used to be. I mean, not REALLY athletic but I was a pretty good runner, if I do say so myself. And I've never been really slow, but I'm not fast. Get it?

So, I tried out for the mile because only one other person was doing it and I got in because they take the top five and race them against each other. So that was that. And then we had a meet, which I was totally stressed out about. Pretty sure I was about to kill myself every time I thought about competing in the stupid meet. And then the day came, and a few of my other friends (in different components than me) were also doing the mile and for some reason they lumped us all together. It was fine. But remember how I said my friends were athletic?

Yeah.

So I ended up getting third to last, and being the last to finish of my team. Which isn't THAT bad, not as bad as being dead last, but it's pretty darn close. So everyone was congratulating my friends, who all came in first, second, third, and fourth. And then there's me, who got, like, sixth. No one was like "Evan! You were great out there!" Or "I saw you running, Evan! You did good." No. Not one person. Besides my friends, who really were just saying it to make me feel better. I know they didn't mean it.

But it gets worse.

My one friend who got in second place (she's awesome, I love her, don't get me wrong. She wasn't trying to be mean or anything) was talking to my crush. My crush. I mean, he started talking to her first but whatever. He was congratulating her and talking to her about running because he's a great runner and did the mile, too. And I shouldn't care. I shouldn't be jealous or anything. But he probably hates me to death because "wow that lame Evan girl shouldn't have done the mile". But then I came up while they were talking (it took so much strength and will to do that, I swear. I seriously avoid my crush at all times) and started talking to my friend and he just got all quiet right when I got there and walked away. I got really sad. He doesn't like me. He hates me.

I hate T & F.

I shouldn't have done it. I should have just stayed home and told myself that "of course he likes me!". Because now he hates me even more. Like he's really nice and I love him and we used to talk a bunch but now it's like I don't exist. Which hurts my feelings. And I know I sound whiny and conceited but it's what I feel and I have nowhere else to dump my insides. So, thanks for listening, even if no one reads this :)