Serious as Cancer.

A few years ago, I got a little present for my birthday. Since my friends and family know that ‘I’m doing something with music’, they always give me music related presents.
So, I got a book called Crap Lyrics written by Johnny Sharp and I am delighted to discuss a small selection of my favourite crap lyrics.

First of all, the name of the first chapter is ‘Serious as Cancer’. Snap is right, cancer is a serious thing, but how serious can you possibly be when you are singing ‘Rhythm is a dancer’.

U2 has some pretty crap lyrics as well. For example the main line in their song ‘Trevor’ is quite, um, refreshing. I quote: “Trevor seems quite clever, but Trevor lives forever. Trevor is together, Trevor whatever.”

In the book there are also a lot of crap lyrics due to a lack of rhyming skills. For example Dwyck by Gang Starr (oh, that name) was quite hard to write, I think. He says ‘Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is’ and then he continues with ‘I get more props and stunts than Bruce Willis.’ Ok, cool, I can imagine that the guy went mental because he had written the most powerful line out of music history, but maybe he needed to cut out the lemonade part.

And the last one for today is this beautiful line written by The Cheeky Girls. Not that their music is really relevant, but they still earn some space in the Crap Lyrics book. The line from their song ‘Cheecky Song’, is ‘Come and smile, don’t be shy. Touch my bum, this is life’.

And just imagine for a minute, that touching bums is life …